Archive for January, 2004

German Toilets

Thursday, January 22nd, 2004

I found a website today detailing the structure and proper use of German toilets. Supposedly they have a kind of porcelain “tray” that the stools fall onto. Germans say they like their toilets, though it requires talent and a bit of luck to urinate in them standing up. This is a good example of why Germany failed twice at taking over the world. Now we know…

A possible scenario:
Hitler goes to the bathroom at a Bar Mitzvah as a young man. His stool hits wrong and splatters all over him. He must then suffer the humiliation and unhappiness of being publicly ridiculed by dozens of fellow children. He becomes a social outcast, shunned through high school and college, the story following him everywhere he goes.

Years of personal pain and suffering drive him to tape a comb to his upper lip for a mustache and form a radical political group. And you know what happens after that.

But seriously, why have a tray to catch the feces? It just doesn’t make sense. And they’re found only in Germany. Weird.

Er…anyway, in other news, I’ve been hard at work on my various web design projects, and this had pushed Bloop onto the back burner for now. So far I’ve made about $150 off of my various clients. Not bad for about 10 hours’ work. You won’t ever see me slaving in a restaurant as a waiter or busboy. And I’ll get paid more, though I think the extra pay is more of a kind of compensation for the horrible things I must view to complete my jobs.

No, I’m not editing pornographic websites. But they might as well be. The code is so…so…indescribably terrible! This is not the fault of the designer who first coded the page, but the fault of the person charged with maintaining it that never did. About two to three years ago, the code I’ve seen recently would be perfectly acceptable, if not cutting-edge. Now…it burns.

For example, when I first started HTML, the best way of organizing a website was to put it in a table, with one cell for the header, one for the body, one for the footer, one for a side panel, and so on. In fact, due to my own laziness, this very blog has a table-based website. Oh great Zeldman, I have failed thee.

Actually, time constraints mean that this site’s template hasn’t been updated since I learned how to do layouts the correct way, and by “correct” I mean standards-compliant as per W3C and WaSP guidelines. Now I use DIVs instead of tables, with CSS (cascading stylesheets) to position and float them. Then, if you happen to go to one of my more recent pages with a text-only browser like Lynx or with one of the ancient relics of the past, like Internet Explorer 3, you will see all the content in perfect markup and position, just without the prettier features that come with CSS, like, say…fixed background attachments.

Someday I’ll start publishing articles on correct web design, but currently I just don’t know enough about it myself to even be worthy of publishing such things. But really, if I’ve learned XHTML, CSS, PHP/MySQL, and a bit of JavaScript in two years, think where I’ll be in another two.

Most programmers start with PHP or Perl and move on to write programs in C++
or VisualBASIC .Net. Frankly, I’d like to stay away from anything related to Microsoft, so I’ll probably end up developing Linux applications. I really don’t want to get away from Internet work, though, so I might stay with PHP for quite a long time. There are still many ideas that I’ve never tried and many things that I haven’t yet done. PHP might as well be C++ for the Internet, it’s so useful. Sure, other languages have many of its features, but PHP is just…better.
And I hate seeing corporations using JSP (Java) and ASP (eeew…Microsoft Active Server Pages) just because they had to pay for them. It’s like they trust ASP and JSP more because they’re expensive to install and maintain. Macromedia has a package called JRun 4 that (I believe) is a server for running JSP applications. Why pay thousands of dollars for something like that when PHP, Apache, and MySQL are all free? And not only that, but they’re better than the commercial options: the usage statistics for the Apache HTTP Server and mod_php are evidence of that.
PHP is on over 14.7 million servers, and Apache has a 70% market share in the HTTP server software market. There’s just nothing better out there. MySQL lags as a database softare solution for corporations because Microsoft and Oracle have salespeople to market their products. MySQL AB probably does as well, but not like the larger companies.

Why then, are companies so stupid? Personally, I think they just can connect better with a major brand or company name. Microsoft Windows is on 90% of all desktop computers in the world, so its preprocessing server-side language must be good, right? It’s just about which software company can lie to brick-and-mortar firms the most convincingly.

This comes back to my discussion of web standards. People assume that all HTML is the same, and that web pages are like Word documents, with a standard format. And for me, this can be a problem. One client of mine, the one who runs a golf company, wants me to use up more of the free space I left in the margins on their new website. I told him, “Using up more space would limit your audience because people with an 800 x 600 screen resolution wouldn’t be able to see all of the page without scrolling horizontally.” His answer: “But there aren’t very many people out there with 800 x 600 resolution, anyway.” Wrong.
According to this survey, 50% or more of computer users have their display set to 800 x 600. So proper web design is geared toward that resolution. That is not a web standard, but it is an accessibility standard, one which states that anyone should be able to easily view a page, from any device. Of course, there are people out there with 640 x 480 resolutions out there–what about them? They’re screwed. Designing with a resolution that low in mind would make a site look really small in all othe resolutions. 800 x 600 is just a happy medium.

This is just one of many things. Some people just don’t understand that there are other users out there other than them, and that other people don’t necessarily have their computers configured the same way as they do. And there are even more people who just don’t know how to change those settings or don’t have permission to, like at my school or at my parents’ workplaces. For this reason, layouts must be elastic, DIV based, 800 x 600 optimized, built with consideration for older browsers, and so on and so forth. This article is a good example, a story of how a web design guru and his team revamped Inc.com and FastCompany.com and saved those sites thousands of dollars in server lease fees because the code was smaller and more compact.

The problem is, small businesses, the kinds of clients I would cater to, don’t care about server load because they get little traffic, so they pay a small monthly fee and nothing more. This makes them harder to convince.

Eggplant.

1.1 million keystrokes!

Ack, It Burns!

Monday, January 19th, 2004

I am too busy to even blog, but I’m blogging anyway. I don’t even know why I blog anymore, probably more for personal pride than anything. I’ve been doing this successfully for seven months now, but it feels like seven days. I am continually amazed by my determination to keep writing, even after long absences, like over winter break.

Oh, by the way, I’ve got a keycount of over one million now. After this week, I should be pushing 1.2 million, at my current rate. I now have three clients, one of which is interested in being hosted, another which I’m freelancing for, and another which only needs site maintenance. My good friend and teacher (sort of), Mr. Trapani, has a brother who runs a web design/hosting firm. I can sum him up in three words: he uses Dreamweaver. Which is a step above using FrontPage, but a step below “hard core” coding, using just Notepad or some other basic editor.

Before I continue, let me note that I think rather highly of several known FP and DW users, I just don’t agree with their usage of that software. Admittedly, Dreamweaver does a pretty good job. FrontPage…don’t even get me started. I’d rant like I did back when I found proffs.nu.
But there are two issues that tick me off: standards compliance and control. FrontPage is not standards compliant at all, mainly because it’s a Microsoft product and Microsoft has a general disdain for all rules it doesn’t make itself. Dreamweaver has improved greatly with the new MX 2004 product suite, so it’s all right. Bear in mind that I haven’t used either of these products much, having uninstalled them soon after opening them for the first time when I found out how complicated they can be.

Some features are truly useful, like built-in FTP and project capability. But I don’t need much else. I need syntax highlighting for HTML, CSS, SQL, and PHP, customizable font and colors, and, if possible, PHP debugging. FrontPage is again unsatisfactory because it is a Microsoft product, this time because Microsoft won’t put PHP support into it. (Microsoft is the main backer of ASP, which stands for A Stupid Programming language. Really, why would you need to program both in Java style and in VB .Net style?)

Anyway, FrontPage is out. Dreamweaver is good when used well, and when the outputted code is checked for errors and compliance issues. No one is able to always write perfectly formatted, perfectly compliant XHTML, but Dreamweaver can, in most cases, help you get closer to that goal.

I would like Dreamweaver even more if it wasn’t so hard to manipulate the code it outputs. My second client is a family friend who owns a golf business. Their site was done two years ago in Dreamweaver, and never updated. Now I am charged with the task of updating the site, and I have to fumble through the horribly capitalized, DOCTYPE-less, JavaScript-stuffed, unquoted mess of Dreamweaver MX (the first MX, not MX 2004). This was such a headache that I found it easier to just start from scratch.

Before I forget, a list of all the stuff I have to do this week:
Task - Client - Reason - Priority - Hours Until Completion
Work on Bloop - Me - I’m tired of MovableType! - 7 - Hundreds (I’ve put in about a hundred already)
Freelance Work - Jim Trapani - Money! (and experience) - 9 - 5-10
Write Epic for English - Ms. Hart / Ms. Kulinsky - Um…GPA? - 9 - 10-ish (with poster)
Golf Site - Ray Adams - Money! (and headaches) - 9 - 3-ish
DMUMC - My Church - Out of the Goodness of My Heart (and in the interest of getting clients from church) - 5 - Not Much
Other Homework - Various Teachers - I have to - 3 - I dunno.

Note that homework (other than projects) has fallen to a three on the priority list. Frankly, I no longer care. Outlining chapters in social studies is a waste of time, as is doing “idiot packets” in biology, as is reading The Odyssey in English. I’ll still do it, but I’ll procrastinate or push it back as far as possible. I’ve also found that I can get most of my homework done in class (especially in biology and geometry) if I work fast enough.

Eeeee. I’ve suddenly lost the will to blog. Perhaps inspiration for something better will come soon. For now, some interesting PHP statistics:
PHP is found on 14.7 million domains, and is the leading Apache module, with five million installations, beating the next highest contender, OpenSSL, by two million installations. So much for Perl.

Quickie

Tuesday, January 13th, 2004

I’ve never felt tired after programming. Today, I do. I’m still working on the Bloop blogging system; I hope to have it done sometime before the end of time. Actually, things are coming along better now that I’ve solved two of my worst issues, a problem formatting an entry for posting/displaying and a problem with the Smarty template system when using an array in the selected attribute of the Smarty html_options function. I know you don’t know what I’m talking about, but I need to proclaim to the world my triumph.

There might be more here, but it seems that there isn’t.

I NEED to Blog

Wednesday, January 7th, 2004

Blogging has passed beyond a simple chore to a necessity; it has been three weeks since my last entry. I’m shocked at my laziness. How could I wait so long? When so much has been happening? I shake my head in disapproval.

But now that I have been thoroughly chastised, I may as well catch you up on everything since I last blogged on December 21st. Actually, my last real entry was before even that far-off date, since the December 21st update was only a quick announcement of my intentions to move the blog to my own weblog suite, dubbed “Bloop,” a combination of the word “blog” and the acronym, “OOP”, which stands for Object-Oriented Programming, a method I attempted to employ in the the coding of the suite. It’s not really done, but I aim to put it online within a week or two, perhaps sooner, if DNS resolves quickly.

I recently upgraded my MediaCatch web hosting account to a reseller plan for the tiny price of $50; I can now host multiple domains. With this development, I have decided to open up my own web design company. This won’t be anything full time, but I’ll gladly accept any client that asks, up to seven for now, since that is the limit of my hosting (and probably the limit of my ability to manage). I must admit I’m no Daz when it comes to graphics and web design, but I do it pretty well. At least my designs are better than those of others I know.

My real reason for the web design company is for the server-side work, or PHP. I’ve noticed with this latest project that my skills in programming have improved hugely compared to the way they were only a few months ago, and it seems I will soon have a complete grasp of the OOP standard and its merits. So perhaps I’ll get a chance to hone my skills and make a little money on the side.

As for money, I’ve hoarded over $300 toward my long-desired dream PC, though it’s beginning to look like whatever I get won’t be exactly that. I’m contemplating building my own, as I have many times in the past. This would be the cheapest route, but I’d be depending on my own skills in hardware assembly, and truthfully, they aren’t the greatest. The most I’ve done is upgrade my current PC’s memory and video card. I also had to replace the fan, which barely counts. Then again, many people haven’t even opened the case, and still more think that their computer is made by Microsoft without realizing that the manufacturer of the hardware and the manufacturer of the software are completely different companies. Further more, most PC manufacturers don’t even make the components; they just buy components from other companies and put them all together in a box. This is why it is so easy (supposedly) for regular nerds to build their own PCs, and is also the reason that homegrown PCs are sometimes better than top-of-the-line models made by vendors like Dell and HP.

Anyway, that is one route I might take. I still have my eye on the Alienware, but since I am only one-eighth of the way there, I don’t have much hope of ever getting one. I recently found a company whose prices are even higher than Alienware’s, VoodooPC. I won’t even link to their website, it is so painfully pricey. A PC equivalent to Alienware in speed and other specifications is about $3,500. Ouch.

So I remain undecided on the whole computer thing. All I know is that I need the money before I can buy anything, another reason for the design business. I’m afraid, however, that I’ll finally get an Alienware or even a nice Sony Vaio and realize that it’s not such a big deal after all. That would be horribly disappointing, but it could happen. I wouldn’t want to waste thousands on something I find I don’t much care for.

Moving on, I didn’t do anything incredibly spectacular for Christmas. My family opened presents on the 24th so that we could drive to Colorado the next day. All I got of importance was a CD player, Final Fantasy X-2 (which isn’t really that good), and SOCOM II (which IS good). I had no books for the twelve-hour drive from Phoenix to Buena Vista (pronounced with a Midwestern accent: BOO-NA-VISS-TAA), so I was forced to re-read my copy of the fifth Harry Potter book. I caught a few things I didn’t notice before, but it was otherwise less-than-fulfilling. I did finish it, though, amazingly enough. (It’s 800 pages long.)

Christmas in Colorado was somewhat more fun than I expected. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but I’ve already been there four or more times, most of those times for Christmas, so the novelty of being there has more than gone. Pretty much all we did was eat, either at my grandparents’ house or at a pizza restaurant in the town of Salida (we went there five times in one day, once). We also watched a few movies, one of which was O Brother Where Art Thou, a recent remake of The Odyssey that most people didn’t care for. But, since it’s set in the Deep South during the early 1900s and is filled with hick humor and countrified jokes, it is the signature film of the Ricketts clan. (Ricketts is my mother’s maiden name.) We’re supposed to be watching that same movie this semester in Honors English to coincide with our Odyssey unit. Weird how those thing happen.

My mom, dad, and younger brother went skiing one day, while I stayed back, preferring the cheap shops of Salida to humiliating myself by strapping my feet to two planks and sliding down a hillside. My grandma, uncle, and aunt were with me, and they went to a consignment store looking for deals, pulling me along. I was pleasantly surprised to find two books, The Final Chronicles of Nostradamus and Timeline that I hadn’t yet read among the store’s vast collection of diet and health books. Funny that people only seem to give those kind of books away: it must mean that none of the diets work.

I found more books, this time, the first three novels in a series of a dozen or so, at a little new and used bookstore in “downtown” Salida. The total price of all five of the books I purchased that day: $7.50. Yeah, it was really that cheap. So much for Barnes and Noble.

You may have noticed that I am now nearing one million keystrokes. That rocks. The WhatPulse client also counts mouse clicks, too, of which I have 25,000. I do a lot more typing than I do clicking. Right now I’m ranked 943rd, after a long lapse in my amount of typing during the Christmas break. Speaking of which, I returned home with only four days left in my vacation, a time of New Year’s partying and getting ready for the new school year. If only I’d had another week…

I went to school Monday after barely catching the bus. PE sucked; all these new kids, mostly jerk children who had previously been in health, arrived in my class, so now I have more people to put up with. My friend Jim and I both agree that PE is a useless class that should be made optional so that kids can use the extra period to take a class that they actually want to attend. It’s not the physical exertion; I really don’t mind that much. It’s more the fact that I have to be in a class with people I don’t think much of, which can make it hard to concentrate on self improvement. Frankly, I’m beginning to dread it. And the threat of running six minutes daily (that’s a lot for an out-of-shape walrus like myself) to prepare for the mile run only makes matters worse. At least I have Jim. I don’t know what I’d do without someone else to bear the horribleness with me.

After PE came English, which almost sucked as much. I had expected a bit of a break, kind of a “get-back-in-your-groove” week, but instead we were assigned a new book, The Odyssey, which I mentioned earlier. It’s not an easy read, and we have to get through two books (chapters) per night, as well. After that was geometry, a welcome respite in a day of horror and pain. All we did was shade diagrams of squares (we’re starting rotations and translations and such).

Lunch was good, as usual, and many conversations were spoken under the Tree of Conversation, on the Bench of Elevated Seating, near the Pipe of Convergence, also near the Bathroom of Lunchtime Smoking. Afterward was social studies; all we did was read and outline a chapter. Then there was biology, my least favorite of all my classes, PE excepted (I won’t give PE the distinction of even being a class). We’re starting chemistry, which is okay. It’s not something you fall asleep in, especially when the class’ only new student, a jerk child who transferred from another period, Zach Pelfrey, is constantly making jokes and being generally loud. At least he can manage to be funny, unlike most of the other goons in my non-honors classes.

And finally, there was Spanish, which was okay, but less fun than normal. We started the -ar preterite tense, which is abnormally easy, though Nasr doesn’t make it out to be that way. I’ve already started using -er and -ir preterite in most of my work, as well. The only thing to watch out for is those annoying stem-changes, where the spelling of a verb changes to reflect its pronounciation. Overall, I think Spanish is much better than English, both in structure and in speech. Americans seem to scorn Spanish because of its association with “those dirty Mexicans” whom we are all told to hate. (For what reason, I’d like to know.) We should change our national language to Spanish and our national music to rap just to spite racists. (I don’t really like rap, though.)

It was nice when Monday was over. I could look forward to a long lay-in the next morning, since I had an orthodontic appointment at 9:15, meaning no school in the morning for me. I didn’t even get up until 7:30, a whole hour later than normal. Whoa! The appointment was to get my braces off, which just rocks the house. I no longer have a mouth of metal. My teeth are white (mostly) and shiny. Oh yeah.

Except that I have to wear horrible plastic retainers for three days. Then I can just wear them at night, which is good. Jim said that he still wears his sometimes, even though he got his braces off several years ago. I guess you just have to wear them forever, since your teeth will move without them. It would suck to have to repeat three years of braces because of a lack of wearing a retainer. And my retainer(s) is (are) more advanced and better than most people’s. They gave me clear Invisalign type things. The only question I have is why I couldn’t just wear them from the beginning and gradually change my teeth. Why use metal if you can use clear, unnoticable, plastic? Oh well, it’s all over now, and I only have a day left of wearing the retainers 24 hours a day.

Nothing else of note has happened since. I did have to face PE again, in which I did some half-hearted pushups and shot some baskets. It really sucks now that we have double the kids in that class. I was much happier last semester when there were only a few, but now there’s Mr. Labelle’s class, and he insists on combining us together all the time, so we end up claustrophobically crammed into the same gym. Dah naa naa naa naa, it sucks, it sucks! I dunno, it’s not really that bad, I just hate it when they change a good thing, and that seems to have happened a lot this semester. I’m counting down the days.

It’s 6:00 now, and I should be getting to my neglected mound of homework, but I’m sure there’s something else to say first…

Oh yeah, a long time ago I did a long commentary on religion, especially Catholicism, after reading the book, the Da Vinci Code. Then I got an email soon afterward from my friend Keegan, who made some good points on how Catholicism differs from other Christian religions. I regret the error of placing all Christian religions in one category.

Anyway, Keegan told me a little about his religion, LDS (or Mormon, as some would say, though that name isn’t preferred by members of the LDS church), and how he had had the existence of God proven to him not once, but twice, with two different experiences. I won’t describe them, as I don’t know if he’d want them published, but I can say that the stories he told in his email did affect my thoughts on religion. I still don’t believe in God, I’m sorry to say. (Actually, this is the first time I’ve said outright that I no longer am a believer.) Perhaps this decision will be my downfall when the Apocalypse comes and I am struck down by the “wrath of God”. Maybe I’ll change my mind later. But this is what I think right now:
There is no God. No supreme being(s), no almighty creator of the world. My reasons for this vary, but one is that many civilizations have had gods in the past, and none of their deities turned out to be the God. Therefore, couldn’t the God Christians now worship be just another of those non-existent beings that have been thought up throughout history? Is that not possible?

I have a cynical mind, one that depends on facts and tends to find ways to contradict them. I am unable to believe something solely on faith, with absolutely no proof other than a giant book that was supposedly ordained by God as his own will and word, but was actually written by other people, who were purportedly blessed by God and understood him. Then there’s the fact that the Bible was corrupted by the Catholic Church over many centuries, prompting later factions such as the Protestants and Latter-Day Saints to come up with their own books to supplement the Bible, such as the Book of Common Prayer and the Book of Mormon. This is great, but these books were written by humans as well, which as is proven by the Catholic Church, does not guarantee their purity. I don’t mean to slam the Anglicans and Mormons, here, I’m just saying that human nature is against them.

And therein lies the problem. Humans are not perfect, and humans tend to try to use things of great influence for their own gain, the same way the medieval Catholic Church influenced the views of worshippers, even managing to start wars “in God’s name”. And because of this imperfection, the Bible must also be flawed, because, though it is approved of by God, it was not his writing. Right?

Human nature also prompted the beginning of religion in the first place. Long ago, people needed someone to blame for their troubles, so they thought up the idea of gods. This is shown in The Odyssey where the Greeks are forever saying that their mishaps occur because of forgotten sacrifices and other religious mistakes that are easily forgiven. Now that humans have reached a level of technological expertise that we can control most things around us, there is no longer a need to blame someone, because our civilization is as near to Utopia is it has ever been. A good reason for the decline of religion in modern times. It has lost its usefulness, and therefore its power.

These are just some ideas I’m throwing out. Again, if you happen to be offended by this, I’m happy to claim the right of freedom of speech. You should also be happy to claim the right of freedom of religion, meaning that you can worship God whether I think its right or not. So we can both be happy.

Eggplant.