Brettia

After weeks of stagnation, it seems that everything is changing.

First, I’m experiencing a miniature coder’s block. I broke the blogging application long ago, and I’m trying to fix it as I OOP all over the place. I keep thinking that perhaps I’m too much of a beginner to be trying to use an object-oriented approach to my programming, but how many years does it take to go from beginner to expert, or at least advanced? I’ve been programming PHP for a year and a half now. I should be at a higher level than I am now, right?

But I’m not. I’m just waffling around, treading water, etc. I thought I had broken out over Christmas break, when I first devised the blogging system and actually was able to make it work. Then, come February, I realized how crappily I had coded it, and then it was time for some refactoring. The problem is, I was unable to rewrite features without breaking other features, leading to large-scale object failures and general frustration. Now the script has disintegrated into little pieces, each following a different model and using different objects. For example, I changed the name of the configuration object from ‘conf’ to ‘config’ resulting in failure in every part of the application because they were all trying to call ‘conf.’ That means going through every file and changing ‘conf’ to ‘config.’ Why did I even risk tampering with it in the first place?

So now I must write some standard coding guidelines for myself, something to make sense of the carnage. Here’s a few:
1) Think object names through before using them, and never change them later.

2) Follow a strict API allowing for internal changes without external modification.

3) Have some kind of roadmap or plan for completing the project.

4) Don’t try to fix something that isn’t broken.

5) Minimize database queries. Dump commonly used information into associative arrays.

Hopefully I’ll remember to follow them. Then I can finally get the thing running again, and perhaps Mr. Trapani will happily accept it when I tweak it a bit to apply it to the news website. Which reminds me, I need to get a design going for that. Actually, I need designs for the brettia root website and for the CSHS website as well. I am going to be very busy in the next few weeks.

Note that the title of this entry is ‘Changes,’ not ‘Change,’ so there’s more. You can stop reading if you want. But keep on going, instead, just because you’re curious. Yes, keep reading. Or not. I don’t know why I’m writing this paragraph. Anyway…

My attitude toward school had changed as well. I used to be the diligent student, meticulously logging my assignments in my agenda book, doing every worksheet, every little scrap of busy work we were handed. Now, my agenda lies empty except for Computer Fund projections and doodles. I actually have blank worksheets in my folder! I don’t take notes, in any class (though I never did, so…). And yet, I have the following grades:
PE: 99%
English: 98%-ish (?)
Math: 99%
Social Studies: 96% (participation points hurt my grade)
Biology: 100% (is this even possible?)
Spanish: 97%
Why? Why am I unable to fail? Why would I want to fail in the first place? Am I insane? I hope not. My grades were actually worse at the beginning of the quarter when I was doing my work. Then again, I suppose my definition of “slacking off” differs somewhat from the regular student’s. I freak out if I lose 2% on a class grade. I don’t accept anything below a 96%. But then, as I was told a few weeks ago, percentages don’t really matter.

Yes, you heard me, there’s no longer an incentive to strive toward higher percentage grades except for personal improvement, which is an excuse for trying harder that I am beginning to tire of. Why has this incentive suddenly disappeared? Because, whether I get a 90% or a 107%, both count as a 4.0 on my report card. Some teachers don’t even export percentages with their grades. So no one will ever know that I did 17% better than that other kid who also obtained a 4. That sucks.

I was originally under the impression that GPA was calculated at CSHS in the same way it was done at Sonoran Trails: by taking the percentage score and dividing it by 25 for each class, and then averaging those numbers to get the total GPA. This seemed to be the method used, since I’d get a 95% and a 100% and end up with a GPA of 3.9. (Equal to 97.5%) This seems quite fair. But I see no logic in the high school method, unless I am missing something or failing to understand the method correctly.

I brought this issue to my parents, and they concluded that perhaps GPA was shown on transcripts but percentages were used to figure out who would be salutatorian and valedictorian at the end of the year. But if not all teachers export percentages, how can percentages be used? And if GPA is used to determine class rankings, will a tie not occur eventually? Perhaps the administration is assuming that no one will ever get a tie because the probability of that is so low after four years of classes. I dunno. I need more information about the grading system, but I’m just too lazy to go to the trouble of contacting a counselor or someone else who would know.

I think I’ve hit on two changes now: lack of will to work and my little programming debacle. I’ve got two left, I think.

Lately, my friends have been increasingly near breaking up. I’ve hung out with the same group since 6th grade, and we’ve always gotten along well together. Until now, when it seems that we’re beginning to grow apart. I don’t have a great number of friends, and I’m fine with that, but when my tight little group of friends starts to split apart, there is cause for alarm. Here is how the situation stands:
Tyler
I met him on the bus in 6th grade. He filled me with nonsense about the discovery of some new world and all this other stuff I can’t remember. All I know is that I was so befuddled by his general lack of sense that I befriended him, and neither of us looked back. We rode the same bus, as I said, and he introduced me to the Redwall book series, which we have now both outgrown. Eventually I sat with him at lunch, which is where I met my other friends.

He’s always been a cool kid, someone I could talk to, play video games with, etc. But lately he’s started to hang out with other kids, whom I nor my other friends think very highly of. In some ways I can’t blame him for drifting away, since my other friends and I often make fun of him for his height (he’s not really that short, just short in comparison to me) and the idiotic comments he makes. Now he seems to have completely broken away; he doesn’t even chat during lunch anymore.

Jim
Jim was a bit strange in middle school. He had this hair thing…I don’t think I can describe it. He was nicknamed the “quail,” if that helps any. But, as it turns out, he’s become quite popular, at least more so than me or anyone else I hang out with regularly. I don’t have much of a problem with this, as long as he still finds time to hang out with me and Tyler and the others, but everyone else seems to be taking it a bit hard. So, in a way, he’s drifting away too.

The major difference here between the situation with Jim and the situation with Tyler is that I talk to Jim about nearly everything, from politics to friends to school to life to philosophy. We don’t always agree, but we can at least accept each other’s opinions. Sometimes one will convince the other that they are right, but that doesn’t happen often.

Nowadays Jim thinks Tyler is immature, and the conclusion we reached in PE on Friday is that Tyler is simply desperate for friends and attention. He was used to being the center of attention in middle school because of his wisecracks and jokes and funny comments. But now that he isn’t as funny as he once was, he’s resorted to petty insults against me or Jim or our pseudo-friend, Adam. Most of the time this just results in Tyler looking bad, and the rest of us insulting him back.

Dylan
Dylan and I are most alike in our situations in our group. We both are in between Tyler and Jim, torn between the two. Dylan is leaning toward Jim, I think, as am I. Dylan likes golf in the same way that I like computers, and this takes up much of his time. So we are alike in that respect. And recently Dylan has started to think Tyler immature just like Jim, though I don’t know if Dylan thinks this because Jim does or because he really does feel that way.

Me
Now I find myself torn. I could stay with Tyler, my friend from the beginning, and hope that he and Jim can find some kind of peace, or I can go with Jim, whom I respect more. Right now I’m hoping I can just wait it out. Jim says that people change and that I should just let Tyler do what he wants, but it’s hard to think of not talking to him anymore or not doing things with him. (Though I barely do anything with anyone anyway, but…)

I think if Tyler could just be a bit more mature and less freaky, Jim would be happy. And if Jim would just accept Tyler the way he is, Tyler would be happy. But it’s like watching peace negotiations between the Israelis and the Palestinians: no one shows up. Sure, it’s only been three days since things really seemed to be falling apart, but it’s never been this bad before. I’m afraid of what may come of this.

I could elaborate further on what is going on, but I have no time and this isn’t too bad of an explanation. I’ll keep you updated.

And now, the fourth and final change, which is hopefully the easiest to explain.

Tuesday, my English teacher, Mrs. Kulinski, proposed that I change to an independent study program where I just have to come in for a little while each day and get my homework and lesson rather than spend an entire period. I forgot about it several times, and finally remembered to tell my parents Saturday. They seemed to be all for it, as long as I kept up with my studies. Great. Now I just have to figure out whether I want to do it or not.

The biggest plus to come out of this is that I would get second hour (most of the time) to work with Mr. Trapani. Yes, he is teaching another class at this time, but I can still help him out somehow. There’s always something to be done, as long as he realizes I am there. I would go to Kulinski in the morning instead of Trapani, adding about 30 min. to my time with him.

But then there’s the question of whether or not I can handle the extra workload that may come with this change. It may end up that I’ll have more work than I would have had if I stayed in the standard honors class. Kulinski did tell me that I’m a good writer, a good student, etc, so I know that she thinks I’m worthy. I just hope I won’t let her down.

I’m going to accept the proposal, and hope I do all right. I usually do. I feel it would almost be rude to refuse, anyway.

One last bit:
I completely forgot that I needed to bring a baked thing for a Literary Magazine bake sale tomorrow. I’m such an idiot. Perhaps I can do something Monday night and bring it in Tuesday. I’m going to bring some extra books for the the book sale to hopefully make up for my stupidity. *bangs head on keyboard*
Sorry if I made any typos. I had to prune a gargantuan bouganvilla bush today, and my fingers ache. It’s also cold in the office right now. Yeah.

Eggplant.